When we traveled to Ethiopia to get Molly, we had the chance to meet her birth mother. It was an incredible, emotional experience, and I feel like I did it all wrong. There are so many things I wish I'd said to her, and asked her about Fanaye, but I was too caught up and overwhelmed by the enormity of the whole thing.
Since we've been back, I think about Fanaye's birth mother all the time. I know she must be thinking about her baby, and wondering if she's ok. Our agency, Children's Home Society, has a program that allows us to keep communication with her family in Ethiopia. We can send picture and letters, and hopefully, get letters back. So I spent this morning writing a letter to Fanaye's birth mother. But what do you say?
How can I express my gratitude for the gift that she gave us? As I type this, Molly is asleep on my chest in her mai tai, completely sweaty and sweet, lovely and perfect. How do I convey that to her birth mom? How can I adequately tell her how smart and gorgeous her daughter is? what a funny little person she is? How she makes all of our lives better? And if I try, will that just make her sad? will it just underscore a tragic situation? Will I be making things worse?
I have questions, too, that I forgot to ask, which I think will be important for Molly Fanaye as she grows. I have no idea if they're appropriate, but I'm asking them anyway.
On Raising a Perfect Black Boy
2 years ago